by Dan Zimbardi
What is the one thing you need to work on this year to be at your best at work and at home?
We are continuing in our series on How to Be at Your Best in 2020 with the next two on our list.
Number 4: Grow up.
For some of us, this needs to be a year of maturing.
You mature by identifying and stopping the childish behavior in your life.
Growing up is accepting responsibility for your actions and the outcomes. Realize and take responsibility for where you are at, and part of that is to stop blaming other people and circumstances.
If you are recently married, for you, maybe this is the one thing. It is time to leave and cleave, right? Put some more distance with Mom and Dad and connect more deeply with the person that God has given you. It is essential to honor your mother and father, but your spouse comes first.
For some, growing up this year means pushing the pause button on PlayStation. There is a time and a place for gaming. Unless you work for a gaming company, the middle of your workday or when you should be attending to your family’s needs is not that time or place.
For some, perhaps growing up is stopping the childish behavior of gossiping. I saw this great quote from Dawson McAllister, “The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable.” And I would add, you are destroying your reputation as well.
If you feel like that’s what God is leading you to work on is this year. That it is a year of maturing, the question is:
Question: What impact is my immaturity having on my life?
What is the impact on my marriage when I put my mother or my father above my spouses? What is the impact on my kids and my wife when I spend four and five hours playing a video game? What impact on my reputation and other reputations does my immaturity having on my life?
Action: Find a mentor or mentors.
Find someone who’s ahead of you and spend some time with them. I think in life, I have matured the most in all aspects by simply spending time with people who are ahead of me. I have read some great books and gone to seminars, but nothing replaces someone in your life.
Number 5: Make a Big Change.
For some of us, to be at our best at home and work, we need to make a really big change.
It could be anything, a living situation, a relationship, a job, or even ministry. Maybe you’re not in the right spot, not in the right role, or perhaps now is not the best season to be working in ministry. Maybe now is the time to think about the significant change.
There was a season when I had to walk away from my brother, who I love desperately. In my mid-twenties, my brother and I were at odds over our life choices. I was on a different path, and we had an unhealthy fracture in our relationship. Remaining in close proximity and unhealth was not good for our future.
I needed a significant change in my life, and I needed to take a break. Not walk away. Just a break.
It was a big change. Because of this change, we were able to heal and come back together and go forward in a healthy way. I needed the change, and it provided the space for us to reconcile.
I want you to process through if a change might be the best thing for you this year. The question for you is not—do I want to make a big change, or would it feel better and be easier for me to make a big change? The question is:
Question: Is God leading you to make this big change?
Action: There are two actions.
1. Ask God for courage and clarity. If you are on the cusp of a major life change, you likely will need courage. Read Joshua 1. It is my go-to reading for courage. God tells Joshua several times to be courageous. You will need courage if you’re facing something hard. Ask God for courage and then clarity.
2. Look for an intersection as it relates to this big change in your A. Prayer life B. Read the word of God C. Seek wise counsel D. Evaluate the circumstances happening around this big change. If you think God is leading you to make a change, you are looking for the intersection of those four things. If you are a reader, you will want to read the Blackaby’s— a father and son who wrote a book called “Spiritual Leadership.” They write about discerning God’s will in decision-making. This is the process they recommend. Finding that intersection of your prayer life, reading God’s word, what your wise counsel is telling you, and the circumstances happening around the situation.
Next Post: How to Be at Your Best in 2020. #6: Daily Communion with God
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Pastor Dan Zimbardi has been the Executive Pastor of Sandals Church, one of the largest and fastest-growing churches in America, for the past eight years. Dan spent twenty-two years as an entrepreneur and corporate executive and has worked with some of the most dynamic brands in the world, including Google, Nike, and Burton Snowboards. Dan’s passion is to train and develop leaders both in ministry and the marketplace.